Hello friends,

I had a sudden influx of friends reaching out to me for advice, and I'm truly sorry if I sounded harsh or tactless. I believe in giving the truth like it is, without holding back or sugar-coating it with useless drivel.

If you love someone, tell them now.
If you want something, reach out and grab it now.
If you have a goal worth fighting for, fight for it now.

Don't hesitate, dither, or wait. Seize the moment right now. Don't wait until the moment is lost before you decide to take action. Lose the ego. Lose the fear (False evidence appearing real). Stop thinking you're not good enough. All it takes is for you to decide to reach out your hands for that which you want, and you'll never regret not trying.

You may not see it now, but in time, as always, for matters like these, you'll find that I'm right. The right things are jarring to the ears, but someone has to tell you the truth. Cut the bullshit you tell yourself, and look at reality and the cold hard facts. You can never go wrong with that. I wish you luck, my friends. Onwards and upwards!

Sincerely,
Yewf

Salutations,

Maybe it wasn't meant to be. And all I can blame is myself. But it's fine. I'll be okay.

Sincerely,

Yewf

SALUTATIONS,

Been a looooong ass time since I've posted my shit here. That's actually a good thing, cuz I've been busy as FUCK.

Alright so. First things first. Bumped into le EX, and she was still as beautiful as ever. (All of em are hehe) I guess we were both pretty shocked when we both locked eyes and had that "OMG WOT" moment. Stayed and chatted a lil bit about old times, and memories came flooding back. Goddamn she was STILL as sincere as ever. I really love that super sincere smile of hers. Been tryna imitate it ever since she came into my life but I'm just not her. Man, and her way with words... fuck. She has this reaaaaally comforting way of talking to you that just puts you in this ultra super relaxed state yet you feel like you're really really capable of doing many things. And while chatting, I realized that both of us are in a much better place now, and all the hurt and pain we've caused each other in the past were long gone (Hopefully). AND I AM REALLY HAPPY FOR HER. Truly. Only thing was, I fucking cried a lil when I talked about how little I felt I did for her while I was in a relationship with her. And that little angel just kept patting me and tellin' me it was okay. I wish I could turn back time and gave her more of me.

Moving on. If I didn't bump into her, I would say that my one regret is not being able to know if she was leading a comfortable life full of happiness and smiles. And I swear whoever's writin' the script for my life story decided to make it like a fuckin' drama. Cuz, just when I thought of her, I fucking bumped into her alone, and at a time and place where we both could sit each other down to talk. What are the odds? Seriously. But I guess that little pain/regret in my heart is gone now, seeing her smile so happily, being able to catch up on each other's life... I'd say pretty much I'm in a damn good place now. And I really just want to thank her, for coming into my life and making such a huge impact. She was the major change in my life, a God given gift, and I'll forever remember her for it. Anyway, I sent her off and that was that. Best ending ever. No leftover feelings.

Oh yeah, I'm fucking 69 kg now. And my email subscription list is GROWING. YES. Seems like the little efforts I put in on myself and my life goals are really paying off. This just makes me more certain that I'm doing the right thing, and it gives me more confidence to move forward in that area. GOALS, MAN, GOALS. WORK HARDER, YEWF.

Oh yeah, UB's startin', cuz I've received the email to attend their fall intake talk. (HOPEFULLY?) and I'm definitely not gonna mess this up now. Gonna put in a fuckload of hard work to make this work out somehow. I've failed waaaay too many times to screw up now. I'M FUCKING EXCITED. Hopefully I'll meet some awesome new people.

Also spent time with the homie Ryan. The bugger's improved so much, man. It's heartwarming to see that all those years of efforts really paid off. He's really positive right now, and I like that. I suppose walking away from him back then was the right thing. I left the doors open but I made it clear that his negativity wasn't something I was gonna take if he still wanted me in his life. And HE CHANGED! Yeaboi. Sometimes, walking away is the best choice. It's a tough call to make, but you gotta do what you've gotta do.

That's all for today. Gonna turn in cuz it's a looooong day tomorrow. To our goals and dreams, people. Yewf, signing off.

Salutations, fellow humans,

Short post cuz I'm tired af. Been 48 hours since I slept a wink. Got around to settling lots of things that's been weighing me down lately. Re-established important friendships, put down my pride and ego, settled most of my family issues, and cleared up clutter that was way overdue. You can't do shit outside without feeling centered emotionally inside. At least, it's that way for me. Also got a haircut and got rid of that disgusting blonde hair, and smoked my last ciggie. SAY NO TO TOXICITY. No one loves you more than yourself.

Okay so now it's on to the part I've been looking most forward to: Focusing on my goals. Feels like I'm really way behind most of my peers but I'm not going into that today. I guess I just have to make do with whatever I've got right now. Sometimes I feel like a really useless human, but I don't really wanna spend any more time bitchin' about it to myself. It's a done deal.

Quote:

The quickest way to get someone's attention is to remove yours. Only allow people into your life who want to keep you in theirs.

Can't remember where the fuck I got these quotes from, I have 'em stored in my memory banks and it just felt relevant, cuz I reached out to a bunch of important people, and the replies from some of them was less than favourable, but I guess I have my answer at least, eh?

Shout-out to Wenbin and Amanda for being so awesome, spending time with me to go through my thoughts. You guys are awesome. Love y'all.

Peace out,
Yewf

Salutations,

This post came a hell lot earlier than I expected, but someone close to me enjoys reading my crap and I felt like writing, so... yeah. RAINY MORNING. I love it. (My poor dad is gonna get less business for this and my heart goes out to him, the man works really hard and I respect the hell out of that, though I'd never admit it to him)

Oh right, I've been in a shitty mood nowadays cuz of stuff. Amanda if you're reading this you know what. It's really really REALLY hard to fuckin' get my mind off it. Fuck, but hey, better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, right? Not that it was love, anyway, but whatever, you get the gist. Damn it.

Oh right, so just several updates. School's startin' (Why am I still in school at my fuckin' age, sometimes I really make fuckin' bad choices but it's done so imma roll with it) and I'm gonna have to prepare myself mentally to meet new people, sigh. But there's a positive air around me despite the apprehension, like the first time I decided to go back to Esprimerez and met a bunch of really awesome people. The unknown is always VERY attractive for me. My website is starting to look good now, and I've experimented with posting ads online based on my past experience with RFS. It's all lookin' up for now, and I'm really excited to move forward. Started to hit the gym again, though I'm no power lifter, but exercise really helps improve the mood, man.

I've decided to stop reminiscing about the past and let it go, and only look forward to the future, though it really wasn't that easy. Cleared out my contacts list, removed a few "idk if we're friends or not" kinda people from social media and just generally told myself to forget the people who just aren't worth the time. Not that I'm being superior and all, but really, we humans have limited time, so it's a decision that's more logical than emotional, really.

Okay, so my mind has never been clearer, and I feel really great for now, except for the one little thing, but I'm not going to think about it and just let it slide until fate forces my hand, and anyway, what's yours will be yours, right? And I feel like I've done my best and spoken my truth, so, think imma get me some good ol' shut-eye, and wake up to a fresh new start. ONTO THE NEXT!

(PS: I REALLY WANT TO TRAVEL BUT NICK ISN'T RESPONDING, THAT FUCKING DICK)

A good quote to end things off:

We suffer when we expect reality to be different from what it really is. Accept the truth for what is it, rather than lying to yourself and hoping for a different outcome. Always seek to reflect and improve on your life instead of looking back in regret and looking forward in fear. Enjoy the journey and be free of the outcome, and you will set yourself up for an amazing journey and a better life.

Peace out,

Yewf.

Hi dear friends (Hi Gaylords)

HOW HAVE YALL BEEN? Sorry for the unusually loooong downtime. Been up and about doing all sorts of things, dealing with social and mental exhaustion, and other very important stuff like managing my family's expectations and communication.

But it's great to be back in the thick of things and penning my thoughts. I AM READY FOR THE WORLD! Ooookay, allow me a momentary respite to be lame, cuz like, the dust just settled and I gotta talk me a little load of crap to be myself, cuz I wouldn't be me without me. The last sentence totally made sense.

Oh right, so, some updates cuz people don't like to read WHATSAPP MESSAGES and prefer to stalk instead. Uhm. Loads of stuff happened. Lots of shit; family issues, managing my goals and dreams, dealing with hoomans... the list goes on. All of em are mostly settled now, especially the stuff goin' on with ma family. Family's important, man. It's the damn basic unit of human society and that's where you're gonna start from when you fight your battles outside. Glad that's all done and over with for now.

Allow me a moment to do a quick assessment of my life. One thing that really bugs me is the amount of people I've lost over the years. Damn. Some of them were really really important. I'm not going to talk about my flaws here, but I'm sure y'all have a general idea of the kind of idiot I was (and probably still am). I've lost great friends, amazing people and potential lovers because I was too pussy, too hesitant, too prideful, too wrathful, too petty to keep em in my life. But all that's gonna change. I told myself last year, after losing her, that I'm not gonna lose any more awesome people, and reality did a hard check on me and I ended up losing my shot, maybe, to ask this really amazing girl in my life right now, out. Feelsbad. I almost lost my friendship with her too, listening to the distorted shit that some people spewed and being held back by fear and hesitation. But damn, sometimes you meet the really rare almost-one-of-a-kind-super-nice types and she was one of them, so we got a chance to sort things out and she didn't even get mad at me. See what I mean about being nice? So from now on, I'm gonna live my life authentically, speaking my truth, being completely honest and fearless about who I am, even if I'm gonna get judged, cuz I don't want to let fear and hesitation hold me back anymore, come what may.

Speaking of judging, lemme touch a little on this. Okay this is winding up to be my longest post ever. Right, back to the topic. I'm an extrovert. I love putting myself out there, meeting lots of amazing and new people, and I'm genuinely curious about people. What could go wrong? I thought hey man, I'm a man and, supposedly, only girls do all that drama shit. Right? RIGHT? WRONG. In the past 2 years since I've stepped foot in SIM, I've been exposed to more drama than I ever cared for. People talkin' shit, judgin' you cuz they think you're blah blah blah this and that, rumours flyin' around that baffles the fuck out of you how it even started... at first I couldn't handle myself and I was really uncomfortable with the fact that not everyone was okay with me, or that people had the wrong impression of me. But I figured, hey, haters gon' hate, and it's not like I'm out to do evil anyways. Some people might need conversation fodder and I happen to be part of that, so now I'm just so done with caring. Live and speak your truth, and let your actions speak for you. Become the type of person that you want to be with. You will attract like-minded individuals. It's true when they say that birds of the same feather flock together. Over time, I've met so many AMAZING people who light up my fuckin' life in the very same place that I've encountered so much drama. What you focus on expands, and what you look at disappears. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at changes. Little tip for dealing with people you're really uncomfortable with: Treat yourself as invisible to them, and treat them as invisible to you. You've got a finite amount of time, and you sure as hell ain't gonna waste it on people who ain't worth it.

I like to end my posts with motivational shit, and I get that some of my old friends learn a lot of stuff through my experiences and advice, so here goes.

Live life authentically and be true to yourself. Do what you wanna do and say what you wanna say. Live life in such a way that you won't ever regret not taking that shot, cuz you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Don't be a jackass and cause people harm, but don't neglect to protect yourself.
What you focus on expands and what you look at disappears. Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at changes. Everyone has a finite amount of time; spend it on the most amazing people in your life.

Alright homies, Yewf out. Next post might be a while, but it'll come. Expect more motivational shit.
Peace.